Why Now?

I think God has made a serious mistake. I shouldn't be here. I should have been born about a hundred and fifty years ago. I'd much rather own a small general store in a small Montana town in 1885 or something along those lines. I hate traffic. I hate pissy customers. I hate having to do things quickly. I do appriciate hot running water but giving it up would be a small price to pay. I could ride my horse to the post office. Everything would happen in its own time and nothing could be rushed. It wouldn't be possible when one would have to wait atleast three months for supplies to come in by train. Everything would be glorious! Shut up! Let me have my delusions! Its better that facing reality. Progress sucks.

So Very Lazy

Sometimes my job is hard. Other times I want to fall asleep from boredom. Those are the good times. Yesterday, I got to work and had the van filled completely. I was almost finished just after noon. Except that I stood around chatting and having a coffee at our store in St. James for about an hour. Then I finished my deliveries and went to Rona in Elmwood to pick up some wood. I took my wood home and went back to the warehouse in Springfield. I refilled the van, had four doughnuts and it still wasn't quite 5 o'clock yet. Awesome. I made it home to East Elmwood at about 5:30. I had a few beers, did the sudoku in the paper and went to bed at 9:30. Now it is Saturday. Saturday means I will shower, get dressed, wander around the mall looking at books and such and go eat something awesome. I've had Arby's two weeks in a row now. I think I'll go somewhere else today. Retirement must be the greatest thing ever. Imagine all this and my own boat. Or perhaps an R.V. Only 40 years to go! Hooray!

Icy Roads bad - Deanne good!

Egads! Icy roads suck. I've realized that other drivers in general are stupid. Period. On the way home today I saw an old guy drive into the car turning in front of him. It was very entertaining. The best part: I wasn't involved! Ah, splendid. Another exciting thing; I was driving down River Av on my way to another delivery when I spotted Deanne on the sidewalk staring off across the street. I pulled over and she told me she was trying to decide whether to leave her car parked halfway in a loading zone or not. I offered my assistance and not only did she move the car she decided to study at a different coffee shop. There I go, changing the course of history again. I'm so influential. I went on my way basking in the usual joyful glow that fills my heart when I run into Deanne. Sigh. There it is again. You know what else is great? Leftover turkey on a bun with spicy mayonnaise and some creamy type of salad dressing on it. Today - the good outweigh the stupid. Excellent.

Snow - thumbs down, Naomi thumbs up

It was rainnig again. While I was driving along one stretch of road I could see the rain change to snow in front of me like a wall coming towards my windshield. Of course then the snow wouldn't bugger off. Snow is like terrorism: pure evil. And you know what I think about pure evil. I definately prefer the watered down kind. The lesser evil.

After work I went to see Naomi, Colleen and Brad's little tyke. She was rather excited by my presence. Eventually she'll get older, realize she's a she and discover that like all females she's extremely uninterested in my presence. Like my mother who repededly tries to leave me in the woods. Circle of life. But she's tiny now so all is well. She's a cute little monkey. Over the years I've realized that children are much more appreciative than animals when you fed them. Stupid animals.

stupid speeding tickets

Someone punch a city councilor for me. Its almost funny how people in Canada almost ejaculate during any talk of fairness and equality. I make diddily squat and get a $250 fine for speeding. Capt. Richboy gets a $250 for speeding as well. That's pocket lint for Capt. Richboy. For me, I now have to live under a rock in the woods and eat moss. Now that's fair right. People should take up this cause by sending money to me through paypal. kristopherfehr@hotmail.com Go forth my children! Avenge my deaaathhhhh!