Piss Off Eh!

What the deal with "chatty Cathys" at the bus stop, at the grocery store, on the street corner. Do I have a sign on me that says, "Come harass me"? 90% of the time its some old guy or women over forty. These people, for some reason, just can't shut up. They have to search out the most awkward, antisocial person they can find and talk their ear off. More often than not, I am their victim. A wide range of topics are included in their repertoire. The weather. Their kids. The way things were. I hear some stories boy. When I used to live in the West End, I would frequent the local Canadian Tire. I met an old Jew there once. He was talking to everyone around him. We left the store at the same time and he decided to start telling me stories about the War. I thought, "Oh no. A Jew talking about the War." I figured I was going to hear all about how evil we were and how we were all responsible for the holocaust. Heard it. Instead he threw me off by explaining to me that the holocaust wasn't so bad and there weren't so many Jews killed. Seriously. That's what this old guy told me. He also told me all about his volunteering in army kitchens in Europe. This went on for about 45 minutes. That guy was an interesting fellow. I also get people telling me about how much they hate indians or how many drugs they have recently ingested. I also seem to appear to be the type of person who would have a lighter on them. I currently do not. So stop asking. I only wheeze when I run or walk up stairs because my blood has been replaced with fat. I also don not have yellow fingers, nor do I hack up phlegm every thirty seconds. And if I can break out my Seinfeld impression for a minute…What’s the deal with B.O. anyway? If you’re going to approach a bus stop, there are some things you will need first. A good long healthy shower. Use soap please. Also, apply deodorant directly to your underarms. I cannot stress this enough people. Then have your pass or the correct change ready prior to getting on the bus. How many douche bags can you fit on a bus? It’s always the worst place for people who won’t shut up. Someday I’ll write extensively about how much I hate Winnipeg Transit. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.