Griggs County Chainsaw Massacre

Gather 'round children and listen to my epic tale. It was about Easter time in '07. I decided to go on a mystical journey south to the Dakota Territory. I stayed on a farm in Griggs County south of Aneta. I petted a cow or two. Also a friendly bull. No horns though. I also played with a Pomeranian dog. It was a good guard dog. My cousin and her husband live on the farm and raise cattle. I let the cows know that given the opportunity I would make them all into steak. They were unimpressed. I also informed a young calf that he had a stupid looking face. He knew what was good for him and kept his mouth shut.
Saturday morning I journeyed to Grand Forks. At the Ponderosa Steakhouse my keys became locked inside my fancy automobile. In MacGyver-esqe fashion, I used a prybar, a tent pole, a tent peg, and a strip of duct tape to gain entry once again. Then, I went Mayville and saw many more relatives there. I discovered that bargain brand diet soda is crap. Also another discovery I made was that there is no two-four of Busch. Only a 30 pack for $17US. Here a 15 costs me $21CDN. At those prices how could I afford not to be drunk. Booya!
Going to the US and going to Canada are two polar opposite experiences. Going south I get searched every time. They ask the same questions. I have to sit in the same waiting room. Entering Canada I alway go through one of the smaller crossings. "Yes,I spent some money, no, I have no guns, yes, I bought some booze. I live in Winnipeg. I'm a Canadian citizen." And back on the road. Two minutes tops. Boy do I love Canada's pathetic security. Until I get blown up by terrorists, but for now...
In conclusion, farms have so much cool junk.