I'm Sorry Dave, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That

I got fed up! I couldn't stand it anymore! My computer was such a piece of rat crap. I wanted to kick it down a few flights of stairs. Nothing has ever frustrated me so much in my life. I never new a machine could drive someone to want to explode with rage. Other than a car of course. I gave in and went to the computer store in between deliveries and got a new machine. It doesn't take 15 to start it up and I can go to web sites in seconds. I can open a window without having to go do something else while it does who knows what before finally opening one window. Being a cheap-ass Mennonite, I really wasn't excited about the price being over twenty bucks, but what can you do? I'm kind of lost though. There are ports and docking stations in this thing, that I have no idea what to do with. My Betas and cassettes won't fit. I'll figure it out eventually. Next, I'll have to save up for a ray-gun and a flying car. Dynomite!