I Have Finally Made It!

In case you didn't know, in addition to being a psychoanalyst, I'm now a neurologist. Check out my rating page at http://www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings.jsp?did=43343
Yeah, that's right. I am all up in your head. And I'm like herpes. Once you think you've gotten rid of me, BLAOW!!! I'm back!

USA!

America! Fuck Yeah!

I Want to Hurt Spammers

If only I could have 10 minutes, a bat, and a room full of people who send me spam. I don't know these people and I have never met them but for some reason they have decided that my package is too small or that I must sign up for all sorts of porn in my inbox. Lesson one in sales: Don't tell prospective client that they have a tiny dick. Just a suggestion. Oh well then, "perfect match" is having a communication weekend. Unless this weekend involves watching hockey and getting pissed they can piss off. My money and I have an understanding. If it trys to leave me for some crap ass product I'll make sure no man will ever want it again. i.e. From now on I'm using every twenty dollar bill as a hanky. According some some of my spam I can also increase my bust size. This is getting kinkily out of hand. But I'm a little busy right now with all the free vacations and shopping sprees I've won in the past few days. Assholes.

Manitoba Housing Can Eat Me

I was standing behind my delivery van in a parking lot in St. Vital trying to think of a way to lift a 375 lb. floor scrubbing machine when my phone rang. As usual when I'm pissed off I'll let the answering machine get it. After the floor scrubber was in a pile in the back of the van and my sweater was dirty I decided to check my messages. It was some douche bag from Manitoba Housing telling me I had one of their vacuums. He basically ordered me to bring it now. Needless to say after the message I wanted to kick the shit out of him. The next day, he left two more messages. To fully understand the extent of how much of an asshole this guy is... after the first message that day, the manager at our outlet store explained to him that I did not have his vacuum and he wouldn't be able to tell him anything else about it until he talked to our vacuum repair man. After a couple of hours the idiot left another message telling me I need to deliver the vacuum I've had in my van since Friday. How he knows what's in my van, I’ll never know. Later, I hear from my warehouse foreman that the vacuum is done and ready to deliver the next day. Something just pisses off the the extreme when some fuckstick gives me an order like I'm his bitch. Meanwhile this asshole doesn't know what he's talking about. I just can't figure out why the majority of Manitoba Housing employees are complete pieces of shit. Anyway, when I do pick up the vacuum and deliver it to him, I told him that I had just picked it up that morning. He says the guy in the office lied to him. Yeah, I’m sure dick cheese. People seem to lose their balls when you deal with them in person. The moral of the story is that Manitoba Housing can eat me.

Ace is Great

Dealing with customers is crap. You'd think that the fact that a company is going out of its way to get products out to the customer would warrant some appreciation. Half of these jackasses who can't be bothered to go to the store and pick up their cleaning supplies make me jump through hoops to get them their stuff. If only I had diplomatic immunity. That's why I'm grateful to have Ace Burpee to listen to in the morning. He makes me hate life less. His always adorable sidekick Chrissy Troy is pretty great too. Last week Ace's big invention was the sinking teabag. A teabag with a rock or a marble in it to make it sink. It was swell. Ace's blog is at http://www.hot103live.com/blog/129 If not for Ace and Chrissy's upbeat radio programme in the morning I think I might cannibalize some of my loser customers. Especially today, because I ran out of windshield washer fluid and had to resort to window cleaner. Boy did that suck. Streak-free my ass!